my life has only felt shorter since living in illinois

i wish i could say this isn't a cry for help

I’d like to preface this essay with a reminder that my experience is mine alone and while I do experience many privileges (I am approximately the shade of a paper bag¹, raised middle-class, somewhat gainfully employed, not immunocompromised²) I do experience some of the most extreme lack of community, care and love because of my phenotype and the way my m…